Did you know that nearly 40% of adults are caring for an aging loved one? Often, it’s a parent—sometimes a neighbor—but it’s almost always someone who needs your help more than they admit.
“I see a lot of stressed 40- to 60-year-olds trying to balance careers, kids, and their parents,” says Susie Held, senior advisor at Sholom. “Sometimes they haven’t seen a doctor themselves in years because their energy is spent caring for someone else.”
With seniors living longer and wanting to stay in their own homes, the need for support can creep up gradually. Someone has to step in for the things they can no longer manage alone.
Does this sound familiar?
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Your shopping list includes someone else’s groceries.
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You’ve taken time off work to drive them to appointments.
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You’ve spent hours figuring out Medicare or other benefits.
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You check their fridge to make sure they’re eating well.
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You manage bills or worry that they aren’t keeping up.
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You run more errands for them than for yourself.
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You juggle tasks like hiring help, making sure medications are taken, and keeping up with household chores.
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You feel like your time at their house outweighs time at your own.
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Sibling disagreements over care are becoming frequent.
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Worry about them occupies more of your mind than you’d like.
If any of this resonates, you might be an unofficial caregiver. The good news? You don’t have to navigate this alone. At Sholom, our trusted advisors provide personal guidance, free home visits, and resources to help you support your loved one while caring for yourself. One of our Community Ambassadors at Sholom would be happy to be a resource for your loved one as well as they navigate the thought of transitioning to senior living as we know it’s not easy.
A Guide to the Challenges (and Rewards) Ahead
Caring for a senior who wants to stay in their home can be both rewarding and overwhelming. Here are some practical tips from Susie Held, a trusted advisor at Sholom:
1. Expect the unexpected.
Aging loved ones often need more help than they let on. Tasks like yard work, home maintenance, or grocery shopping may have been neglected gradually. Once you start helping, you may realize just how much support they truly need.
2. Set realistic boundaries.
Your parent may expect you to do more than is feasible. “It’s common for someone in the hospital to assume their family can provide daily support,” Susie says. “You may live far away or have a busy schedule. Setting clear boundaries is essential to avoid burnout.”
3. Prepare for family tension.
Caring for a parent can reignite old sibling conflicts. Even if you initially agree to be the primary caregiver, disagreements about responsibilities can arise. A senior care advisor can help facilitate conversations and keep family relationships on track.
4. Caregiving impacts work life.
Between phone calls, appointments, and errands, your 9-to-5 schedule may stretch into evenings. Susie has firsthand experience balancing career and caregiving: “You might spend your lunch hour making calls, then return to work and find your day extended. Sleep and self-care can take a back seat.”
5. Learn new skills fast.
You may need to understand elder law, Medicare, financial planning, health directives, or adult day care services—things you never thought you’d need to know. Sholom advisors can guide you through these unfamiliar areas.
6. Care for yourself too.
Adult children who become caregivers often put themselves last. Susie emphasizes, “It’s not about putting yourself first, but doing your caregiving while still taking care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.”
7. Enjoy the rewards.
Caregiving also brings meaningful moments: hearing family stories, knowing your loved one is safe, and giving back to someone who gave so much to you.
No matter how challenging or rewarding caregiving is, you don’t have to do it alone. “There isn’t a classroom for this,” Susie says. “But there are people and resources to help you navigate the journey.”
Start planning today to ensure your loved one’s safety and comfort—and your own peace of mind. Sholom can help you explore options and create a plan for the future, before a crisis arises.
For more information or to connect with a Sholom senior advisor:
Contact us today!
